Your son has it backwards. He is over 18 so he is the one who should be working to afford the dorm. If he wants to live with you, you get to set the rules. When we had grown children living with us, they were expected to not only keep there rooms clean, they were in charge of keeping one of the rooms in the house clean, preparing the main meal of the day at least once a week and of course doing their own laundry. You are not obligated to support him, you are doing it because you love him. He needs an attidude adjustment.
We had 7 children living in our house at one time so there had to be some rules. Your son isn't a little boy anymore, he's a man. He needs to act like one.

My kids are 20, 18, and 15. Let him know you're the boss and he is under your roof. Tell him to get rid of the attitude that you're the parent. It doesn't matter what age they are. They should always show respect. That is a must. My son who is twenty works along side my husband everyday. We own our business and as a family we work together. Even my daughter helps. And it's aka men's work. They get their phone paid for. They get money if they need it for specific things. They know a family that works together stays together. I hope this helps. And no my kids never cop an attitude towards us because they know to show respect or there will be consequences.

Hi Diane88,
Well, my view on this matter, may be considered a bit non conventional. I think once you are 50 or older you can say and do what you want.....( talking bout me).
I would let the 18 year old who can talk, eat, and walk like an adult be the adult but not in my house. I was raised you are not grown if you live in your parents house. Grown folks can take care of themselves. So with that being said clean your room!!! If you don't like my rules then leave. But that's my opinion.

All these answers are great and I just want to add one thing- don't forget to validate how your son feels, he is obviously upset about not being able to afford a dorm. Once you show him that you get why it's hard for him, he will be more willing to listen to your side of things. Hoping that this can prevent an argument.

I tend to agree! There are rules about being a family member and part of that is you all pull your weight; whether your 3yrs old and asked to put you toys in the box or 18 and you have to dust and vacuum. It's what happens. We went through a similar experience with my eldest and felt as if we were banging our heads against a brick wall and it was upsetting and frustrating. Contribution isn't always financial; you help in any way to make life easier for you all. In the end, we spoke to her explaining this 'again' but this time we added, if she couldn't do this, then we'd act towards her the way she did to us...this was so hard and we felt dreadful, trust me. We also said that everything costs, it doesn't come free. She didn't change so we did...if she wanted her light on, or a shower, she had to ask, she's a vegetarian and I always respected and cooked a separate meal for her..but it stopped, there was the same meal we had just minus any meat, if she wanted dropping anywhere she had to contribute to fuel or walk, she had her own wash day to do her laundry and if she missed it she didn't get to wash her stuff until the following week. As you can imagine it was not harmonious in our house at all and we had epic guilt trips also we were the worst parents EVER! But it worked, and now she's away at uni but when she returns, she's appreciative!!! Without asking I can return from work and she cleaned up or cooked, and her attitude is incredible, she's such a caring girl (she always, was teenagers hide it well). Good luck. Oh, one thing I never included her bedroom...this was an awful state, but it was her space; that's the only place I never intruded upon. Good luck, it's tough but it won't last xxx