LeslieJeremyBuckens,
I've seen so many of the people here in our support group that their family just won't be there for them. We've got to take the initiative to help one another. We can be family for one another. Not by blood, but it's that we each know how more or less what the others here might be going through. I want to be there for myself and for others so they don't feel alone.

Try putting together a written statement of what fibromyalgia is and what is linked to it. Don't add any "whining", just the straight facts. Give this to your family and friends and ask them to read this so that they might begin to understand what you have to deal with on a daily basis. Something I added when I did this was the Spoon Theory story. That seemed to help some understand. You may not get through to all of them, but even getting through to a few of them will help. You need to have a serious talk with your spouse. Maybe he needs to go to the doctor with you and have the doc explain it. He needs to be your Number One supporter.

I am trying not to mention my pain or other feelings because it becomes a 'contest' with others saying things like 'yeah, I hurt, too' when I'm not saying they don't, but just remarking on how I'm doing. It's hard to lie when someone asks 'how are you today?' If it's a casual acquaintance there's no need to explain. But, if it's your husband or someone else close who is aware of your condition, what are you s'posed to say? 'Never felt better!'? Glad you all understand! Thanks for being here!

It is impossible to convey to others how the pain effects you. They cannot see it, and many people still believe it is in your mind. The most upsetting comments have come from my family. It is not easy.

My family always has thought I complain too much... I don't verbally say words.. I know I moan and groan a lot. my oldest son says "Mom we know you always hurt what's new?" I have never been more hurt than I have by their words and actions about my pain... I isolate myself a lot because I know I may look like I hurt and I get the lecture. ... it's the worst part I can't imagine ever not trusting a loved one or anyone I guess...if they are in pain it isn't my place to decide how bad they hurt..??? Yet if they get an ache or pain or a simple cold it's the end of the world? My mom recently let me know I am not the daughter she wanted me to be? I worked hard all my life and do everything to help others even since I quit work in 2010... I have decided I am a good person and i don't need to justify my pain and not even to family... I can't prove my pain...maybe one day!