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A MyFibroTeam Member asked a question 💭
Holbrook, NY

Hi! I truly hope all of you are doing okay, as we can be with all we deal with on a daily basis. I wondered if anyone else has challenges with their Husband or significant others in their life understanding our disease
I have an amazing Hubby but he doesn't understand how Fibro is for me. He tries, but most of the time he makes it worse by comments and the way he responds to me. He is used to me being very active and getting things done. I've had Fibro.for over 6 years now and he still does not… read more

November 10, 2020
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Answer Summary

Members connected over the challenge of helping partners truly understand fibromyalgia, with many sharing that spouses try to be supportive... Read more

Members connected over the challenge of helping partners truly understand fibromyalgia, with many sharing that spouses try to be supportive but often fall short through well-meaning comments about exercise, comparisons to their own health issues, or impatience with invisible symptoms like brain fog and pain. Several members found that validation comes primarily from fellow fibromyalgia warriors who live the experience, while others suggested couples counseling focused on communication or programs like Mayo Clinic's classes for family members of chronic pain patients. A recurring theme was learning to make peace with the reality that non-sufferers may never fully grasp the condition, focusing instead on self-care, setting boundaries, and finding empathy within the fibromyalgia community.

A MyFibroTeam Member

I think a lot of us can't really understand (although we can sympathize) until we actually get the problem ourselves.

November 10, 2020 (edited)
A MyFibroTeam Member

I felt the same way with my husband for years. Even when he became a medical student, he just gave me a book on Fibromyalgia but he didn’t read it. His comments and the way he responded to my agony showed he could care less. I used to resent him for that. Not until he had a patient who had worse symptoms than me did he realized that IT IS REAL PAIN. I think its really hard for other non-sufferers to understand because it is invisible. They can’t see the physical damage so its hard to comprehen what we are going thru.
Just keep venting here and you will get validation from US warriors. Gentle hugs

November 10, 2020
A MyFibroTeam Member

@A MyFibroTeam Member Thank you so much. I have almost come to peace with it all sweetie. I know he does not get it, will not get it. As I'm also not bad off unless in flare mode or season's change mode , I'm quite good. And he does not get that any two people with Fibro are not exactly alike. We are like snowflakes.
Other Fibro warriors get it. Have to try out very best to make peace with that
I quit all meds. Yup, I did ,as they were doing me more harm than good.
I'm so very sensitive to many meds and also antibiotics. Many drug allergies.
I find i have to limit my potato consumption. I'm ok with fries and potato chips oddly enough! So, frying the potato does somthing to it so it does not affect me? Othewise too much potato make me hurt.
I take magnesium suppliment called Magnesia posphorica. I get it at the health food store. I don't want to be without it.
I'm much more able to walk now. There was a time when going for a walk was so very painful. I'd get severe shin splints and my ankles also hert bad.
I don't know what changed other than getting off the meds.
I guess we all have to find what works for us. It's a lot of trial and error.
I realize I'm very lucky that I found balance. And that I can do without meds unless in a flare. As for your hubby dear, try to let it go. I know it's hard.
At least my fellow notices when I'm not my best. But I will get the got a headace? comment. Oh man! Secretly I've said in my head , yeah and it's asking dumb questions! LOL Yes lets keep in touch. I'll add you to my team.
Hugs new friend

November 12, 2020
A MyFibroTeam Member

Mayo Clinic has classes for relatives as part of their chronic pain clinic .

November 22, 2020
A MyFibroTeam Member

Fibro is so complicated and my symptoms can change from day to day... even I have trouble understanding it...lol. My husband is very helpful with the housework... and that is wonderful. Does he understand my fibro? Not really... but if Im having a bad day, he’ll fix dinner...

November 14, 2020

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