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Both myself and my sweetheart have medical problems.
I need some assistance. It is one thing when you feel bad but when someone you love does you want to help them.
I help them too much!
I find myself hovering over them at times but I feel helpless and I want to comfort her and help in some way.
Suggestions as to how to do that.
I don't feel like I do enough most of the time.
Answer Summary
Members offered compassionate guidance to someone asking how to best support their sweetheart through chronic illness, with the most... Read more
@A MyFibroTeam Member
I agree with all the above lovely advice. I can only add, that at times you may need some extra help. Do you let her help you?
A suggestion, ask of eachother to let the other know when help is required, and then TRUST one another to do just that.
Knowing the help is there in itself is a comfort.
Thanks for asking this question, we all absolutely need to communicate with our other halves! ☺️ and as @A MyFibroTeam Member said, really listen.
God bless you for your caring heart 💗
@A MyFibroTeam Member
Leave little notes around the house for her to find with inspirational messages on them.
She will ask for help when she needs it but let her have her independence and do things for herself as much as possible. She will thank you for it.
Hugs Heather xx
@A MyFibroTeam Member I'm sorry you both have medical troubles, that sure is a challenge.
- Have you ever asked 'her' in what ways she would like you to help?
- Sometimes just "being there" is nice, or cuddling (which women love & it makes them feel loved), or asking if you can get them something (from the kitchen or store) is helpful.
- If she 'wants' to be alone or independent, just tell her to 'let you know' that, because we cannot always know what the other is thinking. #notamindreader
- Just letting her know how much you love her & want to be there for her always & in whatever way she needs you, will make her feel good I would think.
- Sometimes just keeping the mood light-hearted is nice, like having a fun conversation, or watching a funny movie together, or a movie you & she like, to take your minds off of your pain.
- You could tell her to 'let you know' if you are hovering, or being too helpful; communicate so you both know how & when to help each other & when to give quiet time.
- Do you help with grocery shopping, or put gas in her car once in a while? That can be nice if she doesn't mind you doing it.
I'm just throwing things out there, but make sure you "listen" to her, because many men don't listen well to their wives/girlfriends and that makes us feel like we don't matter, or that you don't care.... I mean, listen with interest & understanding, give your undivided attention, it means a lot! (not saying you don't already, but just being general.)
I hope some of this helps. God bless you both! Hugs! Susan 😊🐭⚘
@A MyFibroTeam Member I fully agree with you. Sometimes one needs to hear I'm sorry you're not well especially today. Can I make you something to drink then you lie down or do something you want to do for the morning etc.. then leave them in their own space. I hope this helps you Steele.
Just being there for her and her knowing you are there is prob enough but we do like our own space and lots or rest. Good luck
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