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Real members of MyFibroTeam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A MyFibroTeam Member asked a question 💭
Columbia, SC

We are soon to becoming up on our 7 year wedding anniversary and things have changed, so much in the past 2 years. I also am soon to be coming up to my 1 year FM diagnose "anniversary". Things started changing almost 2 years ago, when my father passed away. We both took it pretty hard, seeing that my husband has never meet his bio father, he had a special connection with my father, so as did I. And the way that everything happen with my father and that was 4 months after I had my hysterectomy… read more

June 30, 2018
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Answer Summary

Members opened up about how fibromyalgia has reshaped their marriages, with many describing a painful paradox where partners who were... Read more

Members opened up about how fibromyalgia has reshaped their marriages, with many describing a painful paradox where partners who were initially supportive became frustrated, emotionally distant, or afraid to touch them for fear of causing pain. Several members shared that open communication, education about the illness, alone time for both partners, and finding non-physical ways to stay connected have been essential to weathering the strain, with some noting that chronic illness revealed who truly cares and is willing to stick by you. A recurring theme was the deep loneliness of being misunderstood by a spouse, the guilt of not being the person you once were, and the determination to keep fighting for connection even when intimacy, energy, and appreciation feel painfully out of reach.

A MyFibroTeam Member

We are older but yes things have changed we are late 50's been married 27 yrs. But when got diagnosis things changed cuz he was afraid to touch me & hurt me. I was feeling rejected. I needed him & he pulled away. Weird but we got thru. Communication is big thing. Even when cant b intimate you can still cuddle & stay close

July 1, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

It’s hard. My husband has PTSD after 20 years military and I have fibromyalgia. Lol look up the symptoms of both you will understand. I thought we were in trouble because we don’t talk anymore. Then we realized it’s because half the time we can’t remember what we were gonna say.

July 7, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

I married my high school sweetheart thirty-six years ago after being together five years prior! I have always done a lot for him with no appreciation and he has always been verbally abusive for a long time now. Why have I stayed with him, I really don’t know other than the kids. When I got sick 10-12 years ago, I had no idea how debilitating this illness could be but as time went on and I got worse I told him to please go find someone that isn’t sick and can do stuff with him!! He always says marriage is supposed to be in sickness and health so he wouldn’t leave me! However of course he doesn’t understand fibro and has done nothing to try and understand it!! He thinks if we don’t have sex that I don’t love him, not that I’m too sore and exhausted. He says he understands and apparently when he tells other people how bad I am, he seems very supportive but if they only knew!! As often as we fight about it, you’d think he would leave but I think he stays cause he knows nobody would put up with him and serve him like I do even as sick as I am! Believe me I try very hard to do things with him and for him but if I’m down and out and don’t serve him his supper, I hear about it! I also get “well everyone out there is sore but we push through it”!! I think if I hear that one more time I’m gonna hall off and baste him, as my mother used to say! Lol. All kidding aside, I’m sorry I have gone on and on but I’m very emotionally fragile right now for some reason! I am not sure what to advise you to do cause everyone is different and marriages are so different but in my case and experience, I’d say let him go if he wants. I’d rather have nothing and live in a small apartment alone rather than stay and put up with this! I’m so sorry I’m so negative!!

July 5, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

Being ill definitely puts a strain on all of your relationships. It’s hurt my relationship with my husband because he wants me to be the person he married and he doesn’t have a lot of empathy. I think this illness shows you who really cares about you and is willing to stick by you.

July 3, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

Just to add i have never been as close and connected to my partner as i am now, another little tip is alone time, we all need a break, to think, to grieve, or just to catch our breath. I hope this helps.

July 3, 2018

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