My husband has pet allergies to cats and dogs. I agree that people become very defensive. I have no problem telling people we have to leave or not go at all because of pets. I dismiss their claims of “non-allergenic” pets by telling them he had a reaction to a “non allergenic” dog leaving him unable to breathe in the past and we are not willing to risk it. We will try and visit people close to us, but if a bad reaction begins we leave.
And I have a bag of every medication that could help when we do visit (Im a nurse and understand what to give and when). We take it with us no matter what.

I was raised on a farm so we had many different animals including dogs and cats. I did not realize that i was allergic to cats till i was an adult. I have been taking claritin for years because i also found out i have allergy triggered asthma. I love animals but i try to stay away from cats. If i dont pet them i am usually ok. I think it is their dander that most people are allergic to not the cat. Some cats don't bother me at all. Maybe try taking an allergy pill before going to the friends house. Let them know it is a trial to see if the meds keep you from getting sick. If it does not work, at least you tried. Good luck. Hugs

Im really alergic to cats and only slightly to dogs. I own two dogs who of one has fur that doesnt cause any reaction and the other a chorkie who only mildly causes a slight very slight reaction. They are very small dogs who dont shed fur so im ok with them. As for houses with shedding dogs or cats i politely explain openly and honestly, if they take offence thats their problem but so far ive had no issues.