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I am the kind of person who has always been very available to listen to other people vent and more often than not trying to help them solve their problem. Now, whenever I hear bad news on tv or second-hand, or if someone I care about is going through a tough time, my fibro flares in every way--anxiety, pain, headaches, depression, you name it. I am trying to think of a way to tell people not to share their issues with me. . .which is so against my nature; and then, there are my children and… read more
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Members connected deeply over the question of whether fibromyalgia symptoms worsen when absorbing others' problems, with an overwhelming... Read more
When my pain is bad - especially in my neck and head - I find it very hard to cope with anything, and caring for others as I have done all my long life, becomes too much to deal with. It makes me irritable if I have to clear up someone else's mess for example where once I would have done it without thinking! Anxiety is a very destructive thing and constant pain causes it, thus altering our lives in a way we don't want. I have to back away from doing things I would do willingly especially to help others, and I loathe making excuses to people as to why I cannot be somewhere or do something that I once wanted to do. But that is how it is for me now and I try to accept it and know that most people will never really understand the need to live life in this way. Sometimes I just want to shut the door on the world outside and be on my own with no extra trauma to deal with, even not wanting to watch news bulletins on the TV because they are full of dreadful events which now I just cannot watch.
I am an empath too and listening to others off load is difficult. Creates tension both mentally and physically. I also get frustrated 😡when people lack perspective by moaning about trivia. Oh dear you got stuck in traffic for 20 minutes. Try getting stuck in bed for 6 months. 😜.
@A MyFibroTeam Member, it must be difficult for you and normal to feel guilty. Please don't call yourself names. Saying NO is hard but we need to look after ourselves first to be able to care for others. 😃
That's the stress issues,No stress not much as pain but u can't get out of Stress! It helps me BC sometimes other people pain is worse than mine so can emphasize! Like a friend w M.S. N FIBROMALGIA N THATS BAD!
I guess my grandkids keep me real, focused, definitely blessed. Now, if their parents could keep things together! loll Seriously, I know it is hard being a parent (I was a single mom of 3), working, juggling things. I want to be available to listen to my kids, and I need to learn where the boundaries are that keep my from being a listener to wanting to be a fixer. Working at it!
@A MyFibroTeam Member
You are welcome. You are doing the best you can and although you may not be as physically present as you would like to be I'm sure you are a loving, caring Grandma xxx
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