You sound JUST LIKE ME. First of all, I'm so sorry, I truly truly understand how lonely it can be. I had the same exact issues with my husband. It's just not something that I could always put into words and he knew I wasn't fine. I would ask him to communicate and tell me how it affects him as well but that wasn't always successful. He wouldn't want to put more on me but inadvertently he did because sometimes it would show in his actions. Chronic pain is not easy to understand if it is not something you experience. He barely gets a cold. Lol. So, a few things that could possibly help... sometimes men want to be the solution and cannot, they feel helpless and useless; no it's not about them but it can cause them frustration. Fear also plays a part, my husband, after I did much digging, was scared. We didn't know what would come of this, we want to start a family, we had plans and now with the fibro, it just brought in all this fear and limitations. It takes a toll to see a loved one in pain and not be able to really help. Another lesson I am learning is that, no one needs to validate our pain to make it true. Their inability to be compassionate or understanding is not contingent on how we should view ourselves or treat ourselves. If we can't give ourselves what we need, no one else can. also, what may help is to keep a shared journal. A friend suggested this to me. He can write what he feels without fear of judgement from you and vice versa, then you each can read it. I know at times even energy and communication is exhausting but we have to keep going until we find what works for us.

Also, what do you do for yourself, for relief? What regimen do you have for overall wellness? I can tell you what helped me.

My dear husband married me knowing I had Fibro. He did the research, but he still has to work to understand. Communication is a big key. He knows I always have pain, and I'm always tired, but he does understand that the level varies from day to day.

Maybe teach your husband to change his questions a bit, and you work on giving honest answers. Like maybe he could ask you how much pain you're feeling on a scale of 1-10. So you get up on a Saturday, and he asks "Where are you on the scale this morning?" Maybe you had a good night, comparatively, and you say you're on a 4. He might then ask whether you would like to go out and do anything together, or whether you would prefer an at-home day. If, on the other hand, you say pain is at an 8, he'll know to not even ask if you want to do anything. Maybe then he should be asking what, if anything, he can do to make your day more bearable.

When it comes to children, it's not impossible to have them after Fibro, but you do need to be careful with medications. I had my one child 6 or so years after I was diagnosed, and I was very blessed in that my Fibro went into remission while I was pregnant. It came back afterwards. My son is nearly 4 now, and it can be a challenge, especially since physical contact is very important to him. On the other hand, he gives me a reason to get out of bed every morning.

I spent the first few years with Fibro alone. I spent 2 years married but childless. I've spent nearly 4 years as a wife and mother. I wouldn't go back in time for anything, no matter how often my son bumps into my sore spots.

I think the answers above are wonderful. Maybe I can possibly add something too to help. After having this fibro & other pain causing health problems for 30 years I can only share what I know.
First of all, I have an amazing husband who supports me & does all the things that I can no longer do but I don't think he can understand how my body feels any more than I can know what someone elses disease 'feels' like, no matter how much I read or listen to them. I believe that I can have compassion & empathy but unless you actually have a person's disease, it's impossible. Maybe you are needing to hear him vocalize to you what he understands how you feel? Do you feel he is critical? That he forgets you are suffering because we look fine?
I actually asked my husband to not ask me how I am everyday because I am in pain 24/7 & I don't want to repeat that everday. I told him that I will tell him if I am particularly exhausted or in extra pain. He understands as much as any one can -who doesn't have it. He knows what my limitations are & knows when we are out socially, that when I have to go home- we go. But he has been with me a long time to learn & understand this. He knows that if he comes home after work & the dishes are not done, that's a sure sign I couldn't do anything that day. I am in awe of him never complaining because I don't know if I could or would be so understanding. Talking about it through the years helped & maybe you both need more time and heartfelt talks. It is a lonely disease nonetheless because we alone only truly understand. I hope I have helped in some small way♥️

Yes can completely understand my husband n I go through the exact same thing I can see the frustration on his face when he ask question he knows he can't fix and it's frustrating or he compared when I had a herniated disc it's like your pain umm No!! Sometimes my grandkids get me dress cause I'm in too much pain or can't pick up anything cause no matter which way I turn I am in pain. We went to s therapy session (still going) do both of us can get a better understanding of this disease there are times his brain is on pause but always keep the communication open even writing s letter it helps

I'm upfront with my husband if he asked how um feeling ill tell him point blank "I'm in pain xxxxx and xxx at about a level y and I'm tired but otherwise I'm doing well." He takes it in stride thus far because I ask him the same Qs since he also deals with his own chronice pain from his eplipsy/seizures.