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A MyFibroTeam Member asked a question 💭
Altrincham, UK

I have a new boyfriend and he's finding it difficult to understand my condition. How can I explain it to him?

May 13, 2016
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Answer Summary

Members shared strategies for helping a new boyfriend understand fibromyalgia, with many recommending the Spoon Theory as a widely effective... Read more

Members shared strategies for helping a new boyfriend understand fibromyalgia, with many recommending the Spoon Theory as a widely effective tool for illustrating the daily energy limitations of chronic illness. Several members suggested practical approaches including watching educational videos together, reading books or Facebook groups designed for partners, and using physical demonstrations like a sustained squeeze to show how fibromyalgia pain persists unlike ordinary discomfort. A recurring theme was the reality that even close family and partners often struggle to truly grasp the constant nature of symptoms, with members encouraging self-care spaces, open communication, and the understanding that if someone cannot empathize after genuine effort, they may not be the right partner for navigating life with chronic illness.

A MyFibroTeam Member

Go online with him and have him read some material on it with you. It is a real disease but it is hard to explain. My husband had a very hard time understanding it and it took him a while but he did see I was not faking or being lazy. We have been married for 29 years. The is a spoon theory online which shows them how hard it really is for us. Look it up!!If you have a problem finding it let me know. Take care and try not to stress. it makes it worst.

May 13, 2016
A MyFibroTeam Member

I have had Fibro for over 20 years.I have noticed with friends and family or partner..that they may understand for short periods of times..but soon forget..( sometimes even within the hour of reminding them) it is impossible for someone to truly relate to all of Fibro's symptoms..that go on within a 24 hour period.For myself what I have learned that helped me is to have a room set up just for me.I can go into this room..and lay down..turn on my electric blanket ( which helps reduce pain ) turn on my peaceful music...or call a Fibro friend for support...it is very important to have your own room to be able to heal..or rest and relax..be stress free..and not have to put a smile on..when your in pain..or even have a conversation when you ready to just lay on the floor..It is up to us to take care of our self as much as possible..because healthy people really can not understand..much love your way gentle hugs to you..hope this helps..

May 14, 2016
A MyFibroTeam Member

his video helped my partner ..understand a little..maybe because it was a guy saying it..!!.. https://youtu.be/S3WGMyfSU6c

September 19, 2016
A MyFibroTeam Member

Ask him to think about the sickest he has ever been with the flu, an injury, or other illness that makes you think you are dying or wish you were. Then tell him that's how you feel everyday. If he cannot understand, he might not be the right person to share your life with. I hope and pray that you can communicate this to him and that together you can work through the challenges on both sides of the diagnosis!

September 14, 2016
A MyFibroTeam Member

Check out some Facebook groups for fybromyalgia to help partners understand or buy a decent book from Amazon.

June 8, 2016

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