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Real members of MyFibroTeam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A MyFibroTeam Member asked a question 💭
Saint Paul, MN

My daughter just had my grandson 2 weeks ago I went and saw her in hospital but a week after she want me and my other daughter to come visit for the day. I was just so tired and in pain. Now she will not talk to me and said why does it always have to be about me. How can I get my family to understand that this it real

October 14, 2015
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Answer Summary

Members deeply empathized with the original poster's struggle to maintain family relationships while managing fibromyalgia, with many sharing... Read more

Members deeply empathized with the original poster's struggle to maintain family relationships while managing fibromyalgia, with many sharing similar experiences of daughters and loved ones who don't understand the invisible nature of chronic illness because they only witness good days rather than the severe fatigue and pain that follows. Several members offered practical advice, including bringing family members to doctor appointments for professional explanations, using analogies like a car running out of gas to describe energy depletion, sharing comparison photos from good versus bad days, and praying for patience while loved ones learn to understand. A recurring theme was the profound guilt and heartbreak of wanting desperately to be present for grandchildren and family milestones but being physically unable to meet expectations, with many finding solace only in spouses who witness the full reality of their daily suffering.

A MyFibroTeam Member

When we have a good day, we usually are good for nothing the next day but reading and watching TV. So people see us on out good days and don't realize that it is not our normal state.

October 15, 2015
A MyFibroTeam Member

Later go with your daughter to the doctor who understands that you are sick. Ask the Dr. In advance to explain your symptoms and explain that you are truely sick and can not overdo, even though you may look fine.

October 16, 2015
A MyFibroTeam Member

Boy can I relate to an unsympathetic daughter. I first got sick when my grandson was born 3 years ago. My daughter got pregnant, and the father wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. She decided to have the baby on her own. I was the one who went to prenatal with her, took her shopping and bought her maternity clothes and went to all the prenatal Dr. appointments. She came to stay with us 2 weeks before the due date, and I was to be her birth partner. She ended up having a c-section so she needed to come home for a few weeks to recover. I helped as much as I could, but by this point with all the stress I felt like I was dying. A long story shorter, I haven't been able to help her with my grandson as much as I had planned and she is very bitter about it. I don't feel I can babysit without my husband with me, as I am so exhausted and weak all the time so I have to do everything around his schedule. We both love him with all our hearts and take him on outings for a few hours at a time and have him over to the house for sleepovers on occasion to give her a break. We haven't gone more that two weeks without seeing him since he was born three years ago. We've helped her financially by buying clothes and diapers. She tells anyone who will listen that she has no family support! This has put a huge strain on our relationship as I feel guilty as it is and she will take any opportunity to take a jab at me for not helping enough.

October 15, 2015
A MyFibroTeam Member

Maybe your daughter is just finding it hard to be a new mum at the moment. We do tend to take our troubles out on our nearest and dearest. On the bright side the fact that she wants to see you and she wants you to be involved in her children's life is a really good thing. Is so hard for others to understand what it's like having this.If you think back to before you became ill yourself would you have beleived what it was like ,I know I wouldn't have understood .

October 16, 2015
A MyFibroTeam Member

I'm thinking that's probably a factor in friends & family not understanding how sick we are. Because we can go out and look presentable for a few hours with the idea in mind that we can go back home and rest afterward, they just don't believe we're that ill.

October 15, 2015

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