I have dealt with anxiety most of my life. Since I started having fibro (8/9 yrs ago) I have found this past yr that having the fibro intensities my anxiety to a level of 20. I had to quit a job that I enjoyed so much because I couldn't keep my anxiety and panic attacks at bay. It was so embarrassing.
The fibro and anxiety feed off of each other then depression comes, then guilt and so on and so on.
All this medication I'm on is ridiculous! Since I've not been working and having some family problems with my daughter that has me so worried, I can't bare to be awake. I will take whatever I have to to go to sleep during the day so I can't feel. ANY OF IT.
Then stay up most nights, laying next to my sleeping husband reading something on this site or another.
I feel better with him laying beside me but only when he's sleeping. That's some dark weird secret I keep to myself.
I used to take a shower every other day when I was working. I would have to at least half way dry off, wrap the towel around me (which I now have to use beach towels because I've gained so much weight but hardly even eat) and I would have to lay on the bed for about 15 minutes then dry my hair.
I had to leave my job the end of May of this year. Now, i will go a week and a half without a shower. I put my hair up in a clip and just change my clothes ever 1 or 2 days. I use wipes when I go to the bathroom. I have gone a week without even brushing my teeth!
I used to have my weekly nails and pedicures, hair cut highlight etc every 5/6 weeks. Shower and change my clothes twice a day. Loved to get my teeth cleaned twice a year and whitened as often as my dentist would let me. I certainly cared about how I was dressed and my hair and make up had to be perfect. I was a happy, always laughing extrovert (still a little unsecure but hid it). Spoke to everyone, even if it was just a simple hello, hope you have a good day or compliment a girl or woman because we all need a little compliment once in a while, even if it comes from a stranger.
Then the occassionally fibro flare ups. I lost my mother. I couldn't take care of her on my own anymore. She died her first night in the nursing home. She told me she would and she did. And I did that to her. I put her there.
Now, I'm nothing.
I have my family that I am SO THANKFUL TO GOD FOR but they don't understand what has happened to me.
I am a disappointment to myself, my husband and children.
I am blessed with 2 grandsons. 9 and 5. They know my love for them. They are my Angel's.
I'm not sure why all of this just came pouring out of me. For those of you that stayed with me here, I appreciate in believing at least 1 person did.
Take care of YOU.
🙏 for you all...

Totally relate to that. I think the important thing is knowing, whichever comes first, it’s not your fault. Somehow when doctors tell me something is caused by anxiety then suddenly it feels like it’s on me to have to get my anxiety in check. But that’s not true. You are a whole person and there are not parts of us that are easier to manage than others. Keep having compassion on yourself.

Oh yeah. I have been in an awful flare for over 3 months now. I have ringing in my ears along with the pain. It would not surprise me if the head tremors, ear, and eye pain are all part of your flare. I swear some of the strangest symptoms occur each time I have a flare. I hope you hamster wheel comes to a stop as does mine.

Don't have an answer but I know how bad the hamster wheel is. Hope break comes soon.

Hi Sue and Bobbi thank you for sharing your journey with all of us, it makes me feel that I am not alone. Please don’t feel hopeless, God will help all of us to get through this dark period of our lives. I said to my doctor other day that I am tired of being me, I feel so ashamed that doctors have tried so many meds, therapies but it’s getting worst, but this site reassures me that I am not crazy, pain is real, so thankful for this site and all of you guys!!

Prayers and gentle hugs 🙏🙏🙏🙏