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A MyFibroTeam Member asked a question 💭
Lafayette, IN

I have a great spouse, in many ways- except when it comes to Fibro and all that comes with it.

I hear, “it’s time for you to go back to work”, “all you do is nap all day”, “nothing gets done around here”, “even when i’m home i find you napping”. You just use Fibro as an excuse to not have to do things.

I am home, our home is clean, the bed gets made, his laundry is done and put away for him, his dinner is cooked and ready for him and most days the dishes are done and put away... {MOST DAYS} in… read more

October 8, 2018
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Answer Summary

Members connected deeply over the painful experience of having spouses who dismiss or misunderstand fibromyalgia, with many sharing hurtful... Read more

Members connected deeply over the painful experience of having spouses who dismiss or misunderstand fibromyalgia, with many sharing hurtful comments like being accused of laziness, using the illness as an excuse, or being told to just get over it despite managing households and pushing through severe pain daily. Several members offered practical strategies including bringing spouses to doctor appointments for education, sharing printed materials or videos about fibromyalgia, attending couples counseling, and learning to advocate for themselves by being honest about pain levels instead of hiding struggles to appear strong. A recurring theme was the emotional toll of feeling unseen and unappreciated while trying to prove capability, with members encouraging each other to stop hiding their pain, set boundaries without guilt, and recognize that educating partners is an ongoing process that requires patience and repetition.

A MyFibroTeam Member

My husband sees the difference in me. He gets upset cause he can't do anything for me. When i m real bad he comes home from work and cooks or we have leftovers. He says I am a face person. He reads my face and can tell everything. Lol. Seriously. I get pale, swollen face, very tired looking and just by the way I sleep and how I wake up. I am very lucky to have so.eone in my life who really pays attention to me. Hugs and Prayers

October 10, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

I have shared this video a lot,,for some reason men believe men more,,on what its like to live with Fibro...hope your husband can find time to watch this video...I understand...its reallyy hard for those who do not have Fibro..to truly umderstand,,because they are not living it..( that is anything in life )..if you haven't lived it..it seems its only words.....hope this video helps him understand..https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3WGMyfSU6c

October 11, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

Ladies the trouble is most men get far too much done for them and get too used to it yes they may work but so do you even if you are at home why do you not take your husbands along with you to some of your medical appointments and let the doctor explain that Fibromyalgia is very real.As a retired nurse I think there should be some printed information sheets that could be given to people diagnosed with Fibromyalgia that they can let their families and friends read.

October 9, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

I totally get where you’re coming from and my heart goes out to you!! My husbands most hurtful comments are “at least I work” or “you’re only sore when it comes to me”. Grow the hell up and get over yourself!! You’re so busy feeling sorry for yourself, you are forgetting I’m off for a reason! It gets so sickening and it hurts physically so much more, trying to pretend I’m okay and do for him!! I wish there was a better way to deal with this but I think we are both giving it our best shot!! I mean seriously, I would be soooo appreciative if someone made all my meals, did the dishes and laundry, kept my house fairly clean and waited on me hand and foot! I gave up doing the grass long ago cause with my shoulders I can’t start the mower but I also did that years ago. As for shoveling snow in the winter, I still try many times cause I love being outside and getting exercise even though I know I’m gonna pay for it! I feel so guilty that he works, I think the least I could do is the driveway, again forgetting I’m off work for a reason! I get guilted by my kids too sometimes and that hurts just as bad!! I think we need to strengthen our back bone and just tell them off when they are mean cause that seems to be the only way they understand! Big hugs and we’ll get through this, even if we end up alone! Lol. At least then we’d only have to deal with what we want or can do! Lol

October 9, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member
October 13, 2018

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