Wow! Finally, somebody put it in writing! Unfortunately all of it is true. It's as if I wrote some of it. I don't need the additional headache tht a relationship demands. Just living my life is demanding enough. I don't need any BS frm a man. I'm ok being single. It's hard at times, but it's a way of life I have chosen bcuz I need to put myself 1st, care for me. Manage my days and nights based on how Ivan feeling. I couldn't guarantee a spouse that I could give back what I expected from him and I know that's not fair to anybody. I was married once- for 16 yrs & my husband couldn't deal with my illness. He left for work one day and never came back. I have had major issues with abandonment, rejection and distrust. Life is already a struggle and when you are sick, it's so much more to deal with. One day at a time, with God at my side.

@A MyFibroTeam Member. Look…I'm about to be real blunt here...I'm single and have also had a very hard time dating a man or even going out. My many, MANY years of experience in trying to keep a job and trying to date with Fibro has not been successful. Most men in general do not want to "care give" and if they do...by year two, they start to get resentful and start looking elsewhere. Trying to date is just too exhausting. Shaving my legs and washing my hair or even putting on make up causes more debilitating pain. Just "getting ready" to go out causes severe pain before I even get out the door. My advice is if your still in your 20's...stay on your parent's health insurance as long as you can and move in with them. Try to get good doctor's and specialists to put in writing your physical issues and get formally diagnosed. Make sure all of your physical limitations are documented. If you can still work, then do so. Try to get into a BIG CORPORATE company with good insurance and benefits.

Some red flags to watch out for while trying to date w/Fibro are;

1) Men who just want to use you and are not ready to fully come out of the closet. There are a lot of men who will take advantage of obese lonely women with medical issues...I can say this because...well I'm obese (Fibro meds cause weight gain) and this has happened to me twice. If you're o.k. with dating or marrying a guy that is very "feminine" and people usually wonder if he is gay...then if you're comfortable with that....then o.k. I was not therefore here I am in my upper 40's still single. Truth is, I have met some women who do date and have married men that they know are gay. Just enter the relationship with your eyes wide open if you decide that you would rather be with a gay guy than to be alone or are desperate for physical help or insurance. The long term outcome is usually not good but it's a reality for a lot of women in today's world.

2) Men who don't want to work. There are men who get way too serious, too quickly and are "overly eager" to care for you physically, especially if they find out that you make pretty good money or are on disability. They want to marry you quickly and then end up quitting their job and stay at home playing video games while YOU pay all the bills or pay for HIS kid's needs...kids that he has with other women. Watch out for these "lazy" kind of guys who want to live off of you and use you for your money, car or home/apartment. They usually owe a lot of child support or have a criminal record and can't get or keep a job, so just be aware.
(continued in Part 2 of my response to you. Character limitations!)

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A MyFibro...

I was single for 5 years before I found my guy, which was during my many health stuff but NO diagnoses at that time. The things I did have I told him about right from the beginning and told him before he made any decisions about "us" that he educate him with what it entails. He did and then told me: "I'm not scared and I am not going anywhere." Since then I have been diagnosed with Fibro, diverticulitis, had a cancer scare and am now going for surgery sometime soon. He is still with me through all of this and we have only been together for 4.5 months. Do not give up, be straight forward and have faith. Your man is out there, probably stuck up a tree because he refused to ask for directions lol. <3

wow. i don't know where i would be without my mother, well her inheritance which isn't a ton, but i take care of everything financially and she doesn't do a thing to care for herself i just can't do it anymore. she is diabetic and my brother is not much help. i don't know how we do it. i did all that before in the beginning when i first got sick, my uncle died, moved, bad virus got me and her and my sister sick. i lost my mind, from all the stress and went to mental hosp three times in 3 months, no one could figure out what was wrong. had a broken nose after an assault. i am tired of hearing myself talk and think about these things but i feel stuck. it is all like coming out this week and i can't stop. i feel like i can't win. i am not normally this way, but once i get there i am like stuck

@A MyFibroTeam Member Thank you. I was married once for 16 years and he couldn't handle me being sick, so he abandoned me. Left for work one day and had a bag in his hand and said, I can't do this anymore. I wont be back. I wasn't working. Lost my job 9 months earlier due to being sick. Was trying to recover frm a severe bout of depression. It didn't get better when he left. The house had to be sold and I was left to pack up the entire house, my stuff and his stuff in 30 days by myself. Plus I had to find a place to live and a job in that time frame. I seriously had no desire to live another day. I was lost.

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A MyFibro...