@A MyFibroTeam Member I can only tell you what my husband does and tells me. When I tell him about how I'm feeling, he feels a little bad because he can't fix it (and he wants to fix it because he loves me). That is why you get the "if you just did this" answers, he's trying to help you fix it. It may help to preface what you are saying with "I need to vent" and/or "I need help fixing this particular problem" so that your boyfriend knows what you expect him to do with the stuff you're telling him. That way he can just listen or add suggestions as needed. It's hard to listen to a loved one complain of pain and fatigue everyday and watch them shrivel into a husk of their former active self without knowing how to do anything to actually help them.
If you can be more specific about some of the problems, you can help him get more involved in helping you. For me, it was "my back hurts when I stand and cook dinner" instead of "I can't cook dinner" that got us to problem solve getting a tall, foldable chair so I can sit and cook that took 90% of the problem away. I can also use it to prep food or wash dishes if I feel up to it. And it was hubby's idea! It made him feel like he was actually doing something to decrease my symptoms instead of just patting me on the head and saying "I'm sorry."
The other thing hubby finds useful is when he asks questions of fibro of me to get how it affects me. We were together for the diagnosis, so he got the basic info the same time I did, but has filled it in over time. It also helps to tell him how situations have changed over time, or what he's done in the past that was very helpful.
We've been dealing with my fibro and other illnesses for the last 23+ years, and he has become my best asset in living with chronic illness. You can get there with your boyfriend if you are willing to listen to what he is hearing from you. It's important to hear what he is saying, and to at least try some of his proposals. He obviously cares enough about you that he hasn't bolted at the first sign of illness.

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I can totally relate! My husband of sixteen years says he understands, doesn't care if I lay on the couch all day, and not cook dinner, clean, etc. At the same time I don't get the help I need around the house, nor does he understand the emotional and psychological affects of having an illness that keeps you from doing all the things in life that you once did together. He's got a career, works out every morning, has all this energy, travels and has a social life, while I'm drowning in the stress of not knowing from day to day if I'll be able to just tend to my garden, or just water my plants. I'm seeing a therapist who works with people with FMS/CFS and other illnesses that depress the patient. It helps to have someone to talk to. She genuinely understands, and cares. Now if I can only get her to come to my house and clean it for me, it would be a perfect relationship! LOL!

Hi JustBrook, Your boyfriend sounds like he is trying and at least he tells you he is sorry. I have been with my boyfriend for 16 years and he has no clue or understanding. I've tried to educate and talk to him about it. I've tried, but maybe you and your boyfriend can watch a Youtube channel together so he will understand more. He does seem like he is receptive and cares. Take care :)

My partner has done reading and believes she is 100% educated on Fibro, and yet she still treats me like I'm putting it on a lot of the time. She doesn't get it at all, it's a massive source of my frustration and subsequently my stress has increased, which is just bad bad bad! I often get the "Well you just need to....." [insert well intentioned but poorly informed advice here], usually along the lines of me needing to do more exercise, needing to go to bed earlier, get up earlier, not think about it so much, not take so many (or actually ANY) medications as she believes these are the cause not the fix, not bombard my body with so many vitamins and supplements (I think I would come to a grinding halt if I stopped taking magnesium - that might give her a fright! Lol), I need to be less serious, I need to work less, I need to do more, blah blah blah the list is never ending, basically when I say I'm tired or sore she always says "yeah, me too" like I'm just complaining about normal stuff that everybody has to deal with and I'm just a hypochondriac. It's depressing and very VERY isolating. I don't have any answers, I'm sorry, I think we would all like a One Size Fits All answer to this problem!! BUT, I did just stumble on the Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino which I encourage anyone struggling with this to look up online and give it a shot, I will be trying this to see whether it helps her understand what it's like. I would love to hear from anyone who has tried this with a partner or friend and how it went? Good luck All!

This is a tough one. It's really hard for people to understand what it feels like to live with fibro. It sounds like your boyfriend is pretty understanding and receptive. Maybe you can drop some major hints. If you are reading something online and you relate to it you could say out loud "hey look. This lady did this and that too. That's the same thing that happened to me." Or you could point out a worse situation or something different. "Oh that's weird. Guess what happened to this lady". I hope that helps! It really is a good question.