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A MyFibroTeam Member asked a question 💭
Olathe, KS

Has your illness affect your relationship?

April 20, 2016
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Answer Summary

Members reflected on how fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome have deeply affected their relationships, with many describing the sadness... Read more

Members reflected on how fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome have deeply affected their relationships, with many describing the sadness of no longer being able to do physically active things they once enjoyed with partners, the guilt of feeling like a burden, and even having candid conversations offering their spouses permission to leave. Several members shared creative solutions that work for them, including maintaining separate homes to balance caregiving instincts with rest needs, scheduling regular date nights that hinge on energy levels, and finding new shared activities like cooking, puzzles, and road trips that accommodate physical limitations. A recurring theme was the importance of honest communication, giving yourself grace, prioritizing self-care without guilt, and recognizing that even the most supportive partners may struggle to fully understand the invisible daily challenges of chronic illness.

A MyFibroTeam Member

When I lived with my partner..I could not stop..trying to take care of him..its a maternal thing..its impossible for me to stop...so we have our own places now..he usually comes on FRI Sat,Sun..we have quality time..then he goes home..I know I can rest the rest of the week..so it has been so great for me.During the week he can have fun with his friends and I can have fun with mine ( Fibro friends) and it all seems to work out for us..!!! I say whatever works..LOL

April 20, 2016
A MyFibroTeam Member

Hi. I am not in a relationship. So when i feel bad i din't have anybody to answer to. Makes life a lot easier. I think a person with fibro would definitely battle by being i a relationship, especially if the partner does not understand the disease.

April 20, 2016
A MyFibroTeam Member

I can also see the frustration in my husband at times; he thinks I'm yelling at him but I don't think I am.i apoligize frequently and we often will go get a tea and drive around to talk.ive only been diagnosed with CFS just over a year ago and FM diagnosis is a year as of mid-June. But yes our physical relationship is pretty much non- existent with pain and fatigue. I really try to give him compliments all the time but I'm not getting any in return, especially when I try to dress nice, makeup etc. I find we go out for dinner more often as date night, but everything hinges on how I feel.latley I've become more introverted and quiet, I feel depressed and docs are trying to find the right cocktail but when my husband asks me what's wrong I cannot give a good answer because I don't really know.

April 21, 2016
A MyFibroTeam Member

@A MyFibroTeam Member now that's my kind of relationship. :)

April 20, 2016
A MyFibroTeam Member

We discussed this on the support group FB page. Many if us have had "the talk", me included, with our spouses..."I want you happy. You have permission to go and move on.", etc.

My husband has been great, yet I find the I AM the one struggling with the unfairness, being worried about him, etc. I used to be able to do EVERYTHING (and more!!)! 99% of Fibro peeps are A-Type Personalities, so this doesn't fit...it's hard.

Yes, it effects relationships...friends, family, work associates...but ultimately, we HAVE TO take care of ourselves FIRST (saying this to myself as much as much as anything...have to remind myself all the time...lol)

July 31, 2016

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