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I Am, Sadly, Not A Mom, Which Is Why I Ask This: Is It Possible To Stop Loving Your Child Because She Has A Chronic Illness?

I Am, Sadly, Not A Mom, Which Is Why I Ask This: Is It Possible To Stop Loving Your Child Because She Has A Chronic Illness?

A MyFibroTeam Member said:

That is so true. I don't know what to say to my friends when they ask me how I feel or why I'm not getting better. Sometimes I feel they think I'm exaggerating. No one wants to feel sick and not be able to work see friends and enjoy life.

posted about 1 month ago
A MyFibroTeam Member said:

I completely agree with @A MyFibroTeam Member, I’m really sorry that I didn’t answer earlier (tough week, didn’t log on anything). But moreover I’m really sorry that you feel that, I don’t know wether it is true or not but the fact that you feel that is what matters. Let me tell you a story, my brother had cancer 5 years ago (totally cured, thanks the heaven) and one time I was talking to an aunt of ours (my brother was 3 feet away). She started asking me how I was doing and I kinda smirked and said : “well, right now, I survive thanks to the morphine” (i was in horrible pain at that time) and her answer to that was : “oh, you having a competition with your brother?!”
I could have smacked right then and there , I was totally on shock, I mean seriously WTF made her say something that insensitive, that horrible? And the answer is simple, maybe somewhat sad, she just didn’t know how to process what I just said. (I probably cases a brain glitch!) She doesn’t what constant pain is, she doesn't know what it is to “survive only by morphine” and dare I say good for her.
She didn’t mean any harm and I know it, for sure, it doesn’t excuse what she said, not by a long shot, but now I know that she is just not wired for that kind of conversation. After that, I definitely reduced the amount of topics to come up to with her but now we have a cordial relationship.
It is not the best relationship (especially for me who lives on honesty) but it is a relationship nonetheless.
I can’t talk about parents because I lost my mum and I don’t talk to my a-hole of a father (totally unrelated to my health).
If I remember properly, you had to go back to live with you parents so maybe you can try to bond on new things, small things at first like checkers or cards and see what happens. You can also by them “Fibro for dummies”, yeah it actually exists!
And of course you don’t deserve that, you didn’t choose that, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I really hope that you will find some ways to have a new/different relationship with your folks and when you’re overwhelmed go back to the fur balls hug you dogs!

posted 20 days ago
A MyFibroTeam Member said:

Steph, please remember you deserve better, you didn't ask for any of this.

posted 26 days ago
A MyFibroTeam Member said:

Maybe if someone stops loving their child because of a chronic illness, they shouldn't have been a Mom? I have 3 beautiful adult children. I can't imagine loving them less, or not at all because of an illness! My best friend has a beautiful daughter with Down's syndrome and we used to say God only gave special children to special parents ❤️. Not everyone feels that way, and you have to be STRONG to handle whatever is thrown at you, sick kids, abuse, fibro. Sorry for rambling! But that's my 2 cents worth 😉

posted about 1 month ago
A MyFibroTeam Member said:

Not a mom either but having a chronic disease, one of my doc told me years ago that I would lose the very vast majority of my friends in the years to come...seing my stunned face he told me that the human brain is capable of going through, understanding pain and illnesses that have an “expiration date” (not the best expression but right now i don’t find the one i’m looking for) and at some point, it is not that the love fades but more like they don’t really know how to deal with it anymore. After plan cancellations, seing you in pain so many time..., they kind of run through what they can say or do.
We have to continuously remind them that we’d rather cancel than not being invited anymore.
All that to say that i don’t think that a mom (or family member) stops loving the sick one but communication can become an issue and has to be nourished/cultivated even more and yes, it is very frustrating/unfair and we don’t always have the energy for that but it might be worth the fight.

posted about 1 month ago
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