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What Do You Do If Your Spouse Doesn’t Believe In Your Illness Even If Your Doctor Has Diagnosed You.

What Do You Do If Your Spouse Doesn’t Believe In Your Illness Even If Your Doctor Has Diagnosed You.

Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis, Metabolic Syndrome, and recently diagnosed with M.E./CFS

A MyFibroTeam Member said:

I guess people don't take it seriously because they can't see or understand fibromyalgia. People look at you and think "well, you don't look sick". Maybe have your husband go with you to your doctors appointments. So he can be part of it ad maybe understand better.

posted over 1 year ago
A MyFibroTeam Member said:

I am sorry to hear that.
There are some YouTube videos by Dr David J Clark on Fibromyalgia that you can watch together. There is a lot of information online such as this pic below. You could leave this info laying around or send to his phone during the day whilst he is at work xx
Take care be kind to yourself and don’t work through your pain. It’s lovely to have met you if you like keep in touch 🌸🌸🌸🌸 Cheryl

posted over 1 year ago
A MyFibroTeam Member said:

Hello Sarah if he does not believe you make an appointment with your doctor and take him along with you and let the doctor explain to him that it is very much real.Good luck and I hope you get it sorted out there is nothing worse than the person you live with not believing you

posted over 1 year ago
A MyFibroTeam Member said:

Thankfully My husband was supportive. He had enough pain of his own to know how real unseen pain can be. I pray your husband can know this without going thru anything like it himself. It's really hard when you are the caretaker going thru your own troubles.

posted over 1 year ago
A MyFibroTeam Member said:

Hi Sarah

If your spouse does not believe your illness that is going to cause a huge strain in your relationship. It's hard enough if a spouse does not offer enough help or empathy, but actually not believing in what you have will cause serious future problems in the relationship.

There is enough scientific research now that shows fibromyalgia is real, in the past, there was no research.

I would ask him to look at the scientific research and the official sites that discuss the illness. In the UK we have a page on the NHS website that shows the illness and symptoms.

I would also wonder why he has chosen to adopt this attitude towards your condition. Is there some gain for him, or some reason, that could be underlying his decision not to believe in it that's keeping him in this position. Your partner may also be struggling to come to terms with the fact you now have a long-term condition and may be thinking about how that will affect them in the long term, thus it is easier for them to take the stance that your illness is not real then they do not have to deal with it.

Some people don't want to believe what's right in front of them because it's easier.

Does he feel resentful that you are struggling to help as much as you did? I've seen this behavior in other spouses when a partner has an illness. They feel angry that one partner isn't able to work as much as they did and this can cause them to say that their partner is just being lazy and has no legitimate reason not to work enough.

Often when someone is believing something, even when shown the proof of the condition, they are holding on to their viewpoint because it suits them for some reason, they are either more comfortable with this belief or they are gaining something from the belief, perhaps nursing resentment about the situation or they are gaining something from not believing in it.

Either way, it is not supportive, and it's destructive, I would say that you need to communicate the importance of your spouse acknowledging that the illness is real, so that you can both work towards making your partnership work, and that you both find ways to cope with the upheaval the illness will cause in the relationship. You need strategies to handle this, and if your spouse doesn't even believe in the illness, you will not have those strategies in place.

Try to talk to your spouse again and show them some videos and websites and explain that you need their support to get through this challenging time.

I hope you eventually have a positive outcome to this situation.

Much Love and hugs

Rose xxx

posted over 1 year ago
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