How do you respond to a sibling that doesn't acknowledge your sacrifices and contributions to the family? It's so frustrating to deal with a sibling that doesn't acknowledge all my sacrifices and care giving that I have done for my parents as well as her growing up as well as in our adult years. Many times I encounter others on this board and in support groups that have Fibro who ALSO have done so much for… read more
I am the oldest of 6, I took care of siblings growing up and I've always been the one to put her life on hold to care for my mom when needed. There has been a lot of riff in the family from a lot of issues i won't go into. My children were never invited to family stuff b/c of the riff between me and my siblings. I was constantly being hurt and stressed out over it all. I had to decide to do what was best for me and my health so i stopped attending any family functions and i don't invite them to my house! I still care for mom b/c i feel i should but other than one brother and his family I stay away. I don't need their approval, I do what I feel I should and forget the rest of the bull as much as possible. It hurt to have to go to this extreme but i had to do what i had to do for my own sanity. My best advice is any stress factors we can remove from our life, or reduce the stress amount they can bring to our lives the better we are!
To the person who asked about what to say to those in the family who do not believe your illness.l Ask them if they ever had the flu? Your answer to them if they say "yes" would be to tell them that your body feels like you have the flu 24/7 and it is something you will never get rid of. That should shut them up
Some times you just have to give up and try not to be around that person. I am assuming you are doing the care because of love and not wanting the accolades. I am sure that your parents appreciate everything you do for them. At least you know what you have contributed to your parents life and that should make you feel good.
That's what I say to help people understand.
Thanks @A MyFibroTeam Member for your response. I have said something similar in the past but I like your wording better. My sibling usually responds with..."no, because I have boundaries and I'm not willing to do what you are doing." So this is what I'm dealing with here....I'm all for boundaries but it's just her and me so if SHE can have boundaries and then I try and set my own boundaries then nothing gets done and then that's when a fight ensues...it's so hard!