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(Continued Part 2 of 2) Character limitations!
3) Serial cheaters, serial liers and married men. These guys are usually easy to spot as if you can't even keep his full attention at the dinner table (or where ever you're at) AND all the while he is checking out other women. If he seems to good to be true...he probably is. Sorry...it's just reality now days. With the emergence of Social Media/Technology men have so MANY options...and can get ANYONE VERY quickly. You'll be replaced before your car… read more
Or you could just get to know a guy as a friend first, without trying to date. The best way to find out what a man is really like is to see how he treats his mother and sisters.
And yes, I met my husband AFTER I had fibro.
Hi @A MyFibroTeam Member yes I know what you mean, it is very hard trying to meet someone when you work full time because when the weekend comes along all you want to do is hibernate lol. I hope you didn't think I was attacking you just thought I would stand up for the men who may be reading this and think that it was against them.
Yep I thought only women could be bunny boilers my ex definitely proved me wrong lol
Unfortunately life is one big challenge and we are the unlucky ones that have to deal wih fibro on top of it all, but I do believe our paths are set out for us and that as much as some things in life are horrible it also makes us stronger people x
Hi @A MyFibroTeam Member as much as I agree that it is hard dating and finding someone who understands how we are, I do not think it is fair to say men are all bad.
I have big trust issues when it comes to relationships I was abused when I was younger, put in hospital twice by a boyfriend and then my last boyfriend I though i would be able to defend myself against him if I needed too... he was lovely (or so I thought) done everything for me but while doing that he used my fibro against me, would try and stop me from seeing my friends and all sorts.
BUT I do believe there are good men out there just like there is horrible women out there, I've known girls to go out with men just for money, and others to have affairs just because they can.
My dad's ex was an evil woman broke up the family stopped my dad from talking to his kids (i was 16) and attacked my dad and when he pushed her away in defence got him arrested, my dad is not and never has been a violent man. After all of this she took 35k of my late mums money. I am telling you all of this to show that men can have it hard too.
I believe the main problem dating with fibro is we tend to go out less which means less chance of meeting people.
@A MyFibroTeam Member, the same principle applies. Older men may still have sisters, nieces, daughters or ex-wives. A mother in a nursing home is still a mother.
My point is that "dates" are a waste of time. If a man takes you on a date, he is on his best behaviour. The way to get to know him is when he is being himself around his friends and family. If you are looking for a man, look in the places where the kind of men you like hang out. If you want a Christian, join a church. If you want an active, athletic type, join a gym or sports club. Just don't ever pick up a man in a bar. If you want what Steve Harvey calls a good man, then you need to be in the places good men frequent.
I met my husband on a website for Christian singles. We corresponded by email and skype for a year before we even talked about meeting in person. We were friends first. Then the first thing I did when we met was to meet his family and friends. I told him about the Fibro right from the start, and he's always been supportive. I'm a SAHM, so he is supporting me.
I didn't think I would ever find the right man, until I met my husband. But I found that enduring love is built on friendship. Your life-partner should be your best friend. So I would say, stop looking for dates and "relationships", and look for friends.
I was single until I was 36. I've been married now for 6 years. I would still say it is better by far to remain single than to marry the wrong man. I was blessed to find the right man, but I know ladies with Fibro who are still single.
Well...appreciate your response MartineW but..."seeing how he treats his mother and sisters" was something I did when I was in my 20's. That is really good advice when you're in your 20's-30's. Once a woman passes childbearing age, I'm 47 yrs old...the men that ACTUALLY date women in their upper 40s usually are in their 50's, 60's and up. Their mothers have already passed, or are in nursing homes or if they even have any siblings they have their own lives. Just a reality. I've been struggling with Fibro all my life. Also...men in their 50s and 60s are actually dating women in their 20's and 30's. It's a reality...it's hard. There are many of us out here working 45 plus hours a week just to pay bills, keep health insurance and try to keep the friends we have much less meet anyone new or even maintain a relationship long enough with anyone new to even get to meet someone's family. Again...just being real. Not being Negative Nelly here but just voicing my real truth, experience and the real life experience of so many hard working single woman that are 45 yrs plus in age that I have met along the way also struggling with Fibro, chronic pain and fatigue. I have also met many women who are stuck in loveless marriages and they have shared with me that they know that they couldn't financially support themselves (or their children if they have any) WHILE also having Fibro so they stay in their loveless marriages. So perhaps the happily married women reading this can provide solutions or ideas as to where and how you met your husbands while working with Fibro?
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