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Intimacy
A MyFibroTeam Member asked a question 💭

When you are intimate with your spouse or partner, how does it affect you or how do you deal with it? I hurt and sometimes I tell my husband but other times I don't....

posted July 24, 2015
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A MyFibroTeam Member

My husband has been incredible. However, I force myself not to let too much time go by, regardless of how I feel, because I just think that it is good for the relationship. There several positions, cushions, pillows, and alternative sexual acts, that do not require much effort, or involve much pain. In the end, it really can become a situation of mind over matter.
My Mother warned me when I was younger, that a man is a man no matter what. If he is not getting what he needs at home, he might look for it somewhere else"...
This does NOT necessarily mean sex. If your spouse is not being validated in other ways, for what might be missing in the bedroom, then there may be other problems.
Remember that this is not "all about you". Be very generous with touch, kisses, smiles, and especially words. The simple act of thanking them for all of the things that they are helping with or even tolerating, can make such a difference.
My husband always assures me that he is taking our vows seriously, and that he meant it when he said "in sickness and in health". Sometimes that evil insecurity creeps in and starts to make me doubt. That is when I have to pray even harder and give my worries to God. So far, things have been good, and we have become much more intimate, even while becoming less sexual.

posted July 25, 2015
A MyFibroTeam Member

I hurt also but we deal with it. I don't think I could do a swing I end up laughing my butt off. We have tried pillows and such as I have a bad back. As long as the two of y'all love each other there will be a way.

posted July 25, 2015
A MyFibroTeam Member

As many have said, endorphins, being in the mood and all those help a lot.
I have a double whammie. When he touches me it hurts from FM, even just a soft touch. And if it's too hard, it leaves a bruise. I am a cancer survivor. He has become more soothing and cuddling, understanding life is short and our time together is precious. But geez ! Sometimes I feel like (to be crude) I should be paid because I'm putting forth so much effort.

posted July 29, 2015
A MyFibroTeam Member

I can rarely tolerate sex. After I am locked up for days to weeks.
I am at the point now I don't remember when we last had sex.
this is a real issue for my husband and I get it but it scares me and I am also on medication that puts a damper on my desire.
We recently visited my therapist to review intimicy can be holding hands just hugging to restart so we are starting to tackle this. But add running my 15 year old son to hockey practice 8 times a week that's 16 times just during summer adds extra stress on my body .
we need time.
I heard of wedges that can be expensive but worth it.
When we have done it just me up on pillows helps but he has issues that makes him take longer to achieve and finish at one time that would have been fun because at one time before I was hit by a car I was very sexual. So I guess another thing has been taken

Oh a position that he really is not on me not to be graphic is for him to be at the end of the bed me on a pillow for comfort and I hang over the side. Sorry to offend anyone and fir the length of this!
It's just such an issue

posted July 26, 2015
A MyFibroTeam Member

The pain rarely allows physical intimacy, my mate understands he is awesome

posted July 24, 2015

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