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Am I A Bad Person?
A MyFibroTeam Member asked a question đź’­

Recently (last saturday) my other half pulled a muscle in his back and has been laid up since, being a right mard. All i can think though is thats what my pain is like everyday and all though he does help if you can call it that he works long hours and when hes off like to play his playstation, he has a go at me when ive not cleaned up or sorted his uniform out. I feel like exploding most times especially now i feel like karma has got him good! Im not sympathetic at all its just not in my nature… read more

posted January 23, 2018
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A MyFibroTeam Member

You are not a bad person. I have always thought if you kill them with kindness and sympathize with his pain, maybe he will start treating you better in the future. It is worth a shot. If it does not work and he still does not try to understand your pain, tell him flat out "i will remember this the next time you are hurting." It would be nice if everyone could experience our pain for 24 hours so they know what we live with. Good luck. Hugs

posted January 23, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

It's not about being a 'bad' person or 'good' person all the time. In the box on this forum is the reminder to remember the golden rule. I know it is very hard when you have been mistreated, and the easiest course is to act the same way back (in effect saying, "how does it feel, you jerk!?") This only keeps the cycle going. If you ever hope that this particular 'other half' will learn to show compassion, you need to set the example (and also for that beautiful baby in your profile pic). Be the bigger person. Maybe this guy isn't capable, but maybe he can learn... the question at this point in time is do you want to make that effort? Is this relationship worth that effort to you? But, no, you aren't bad- just human. Welcome to the club! Best wishes.

posted January 23, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

It is hard for some people to have empathy. I don’t think your husband will ever understand what you go through. It is almost impossible for me to properly explain what I go through and most would not believe it even if I did explain it properly. My wife has gotten better at understanding what I go through but it took her many years to understand. Now she is very proactive about telling me what might trigger a flare up and getting me to go slow and rest. I understand why you feel the way you do. If I were you I would take the kindness approach suggested by @A MyFibroTeam Member . Over the years you and your husband each need to learn more about what the other is going through. It will bring you closer. It is not easy but it is best for your relationship. Be kind to him and when you are not well, insist that he is kind and loving to you. Take the high road and insist he do the same.

posted January 23, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

Pain is pain! I have fibro and broke my back 9 years ago. When I hoover or sweep my back goes into spasm and have to stretch my muscles for it to ease. Back pain is just as painful as fibro. Keep strong! Xxx

posted January 23, 2018
A MyFibroTeam Member

I don’t think your a bad person, I reckon you hold a little resentment because he doesn’t understand your illness, there are so many people just like him. We don’t all have Symptoms to be seen therefore it’s like
“Until you have Walked My Journey in My Shoes” You can’t Judge or Be Opinionated about My illness xx

posted January 23, 2018

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